I’m anxious. I came down with something of the infection sort last week, which landed me in the hospital for a few days. This time, it was not really a matter of gastroparesis so much as it was me getting “regular sick” and my diabetic body throwing everything into overdrive. I feel great now, not a single symptom to be found, and yesterday I woke up chipper and glad to go back to work. Alas, on that front, I remain a little anxious
I have been working there for a year and a half now. I am pretty good at almost everything my job entails, save perhaps filing insurance claims because I don’t do it very often. Other than that, the only thing that makes me nervous about my job is having to move the box trucks, but that is another thing that is rarely needed. Mostly, I am pretty confident in what I need to do, which is interesting because I kind of feel like I am more in control of this position then I ever was working with kids. Do not get me wrong, I am excellent with children, but the job I currently have does not give me the worries and doubts that came with childcare. This is a great relief to me and my anxieties.
The second day that I ever worked there, Boss-Mark asked me to drive to the airport and pick up a 12 person passenger van. I assumed this was some sort of test, and also was absolutely terrified. The largest vehicle I have ever driven was a minivan, and this thing had twice the seating capability. I know that I gripped the wheel very tightly all the way from the airport back to our shop, but I managed to do it. Boss-Mark seemed please, and I never was asked to do such a thing again. Ergo, I assumed that it was a test. But, alas, I passed.
Well yesterday, this man tells me I have to drive out to Sheridan Road to pick up another 12 passenger. We were having a busy morning, because there is a holiday coming and a lot of cars were going out. The man who needed the 12 passenger had come in early in the morning, and wanted a nicer van than the one we had on the lot. He said “please, please do whatever you can for me, if possible.” I kept reminding myself of this as I was driving this scary van on the 90. I made it back in one piece, and he got his van that he wanted, and I was pleased. There is something about the customer service aspect that really delights me and gives me comfort. I get super excited to help people with their traveling. It isn’t something I expected.
Tomorrow I have a regular shift, but after that my week will be crazy. Boss-Mark is going on vacation for the first time in at least as long as I have been there. He has given me control of the shop for a couple of weekends in the past, and they have worked out well, so I am not too scared about the mechanics of the next week of my life. I am, however, terrified that my body will not agree with the circumstances. Fortunately, there is a gentleman named Bruce who will be assisting me this week so that I do not have to work seven 10-hour days, and that is very kind and helpful. Still, I cannot shake the worries and concerns that I have regarding my ability to stay well.
Husband-Mark tells me to put these things out of my mind or else they will fester and cause problems, and he is of course right. It is exactly what my mother would say, it is exactly what my father DID say.
So, for the next week I will be consumed with work. I think that if this was a child care position, I would actually be dreading this, but because I so strangely enjoy my job, I am looking forward to it. They are talking about opening a new shop as well, which could mean more hours for me. Boss-Mark wants me to work at both locations, which would be pretty cool both monetarily and because I truly look forward to going to work. There is very little dread with my morning coffee, which is something I never felt in the education field. My only complaint, my only wrench in this machine, is my health. So, I guess we just try to fight even a little bit harder. Some days, it seems like there is no fight left- but then reasons appear that make me want to get up off the mat and keep going.
I truly cannot believe that my silly little customer service job is one of the things that ended up getting me off the mat.
Ham 'N Eggs- by Brigid Hannon 