I don’t talk about my financial situation, because I was raised to believe that was not something you shared with other folks. One can surmise however, from my career as a part-time car renter and my husband’s warehouse work, that we do not make a very healthy salary. We are paycheck to paycheck people, it will likely remain as such unless I can publish a novel. While money is currently very tight, we get by okay, and we are not the sort of people who think money is the be all and end all of our lives. All that said, money does become an issue at Christmas. We are better off now than we used to be, but I was on Tiktok this morning and I saw a video from a woman who runs an Angel Tree program from her garage, and it made me think back to my first Christmas with the kiddos.
We had no money. We were both working full-time, but prices were on the rise and our salaries remained stagnant. We were in our first apartment together, and I desperately wanted to get toys for the kids for Christmas. It would be the first year I would be celebrating with them and it was important to me that I made it special. I was able to acquire everything for a Christmas dinner from the food pantry, but I had no presents to put under the tree.
My boss at the time (I was working in a daycare) was fully aware of my financial situation, because just a few weeks before Christmas, she received a letter from the Board of Education saying that they would be docking my paychecks due to unpaid student loans. She knew we were struggling, so she came to me and asked if she could put my kid’s names on the daycare’s Angel Tree. I was slightly leery of accepting charity of this proportion, again, because I was under the impression that you did not speak about financial issues. She told me it would be completely anonymous, and that not even my coworkers would know about it. I gave her the kids ages and sizes and interests, and she hung little tags on the Christmas tree in the lobby. A few weeks later, she called me into her office and told me she had two bags of toys for me. We carried them out to my car, and when I got home I wrapped all the presents. Sure enough, there was plenty of clothing in the right sizes, and lots of toys in the right genres. The piece I recall the most is a hand knitted cap, styled to look like Minnie Mouse ears. This was for K, who was in love with Minnie Mouse at the time, and she wore it until her head became far too big.
That Christmas, I cooked a nice dinner and I invited my parents and sister over, and we opened dozens of presents under the tree. The kids had a beautiful, wonderful, magical Christmas at our house- I had been worried most of the time that they would want their mother, or their old traditions, but none of that seemed to matter in the moment. They were happy and excited, and had no idea the amount of worry and stress and hope we went through to give them that magic.
Over the years with the children, I have had many angels come to me with assistance at Christmastime- you know who you are, and I thank you. That first Christmas was in 2012, over a decade ago, and those little kids I was trying to impress that first Christmas are now my beautiful step-children whom I love with every inch of me. I don’t know how much they are aware of the struggles we faced to bring them a Christmas every year, and it does not matter. I would not change anything, I would not go back in time and refuse to do it. I would find a way.
I did not think Christmas would happen this year. Several Christmas Elves got together to make it happen for me, and my eternal gratefulness does not seem like enough when it comes to expressing my love for such beings. There are a million ways I wish I could repay those who have helped me along the way, and perhaps someday I will figure out how. In the meantime, I will continue on. I will find a way as I always do, and I will try to be the best version of myself that I can. And hopefully someday, I can pluck some tags off an Angel Tree and give some children a magical Christmas, and give their parents a moment of peace for the holiday. That’s the dream.
Anyway, this is my last post before Christmas, so I do wish you and yours a very happy holiday. I may post again before the end of the year, but I also may take a vacation from writing for the next week. We will see what my emotions allow. Happy holidays!
Ham 'N Eggs- by Brigid Hannon 