Cleveland Rocks

As usual, I plan and the universe laughs. My wonderful jaunt to Cleveland was interrupted by illness, which marred the adventure a bit. Alas…

On Thursday last week, I headed out on my first road trip, lone wolf-style. I stopped in Erie, Pennsylvania, to stretch my legs and grab a cheeseburger, and then I continued on to Cleveland, Ohio. I found Sahar’s house easily, and was able to settle in to her basement rec room comfortably. I saw her kids, who had grown out of their babyness that I had known prior. I also saw her parents for the first time in quite a while, as they were visiting for a wedding. They took the girls out for the night, so we went to downtown Cleveland to get tacos that Sahar insisted were the best. I got barbecue nachos, and they were definitely in my top five nacho experiences, but we also got empanadas, and those were above and beyond anything I’ve ever had by the same name. It was a shame it was raining, because I would have liked to have walked around that area as we were right in Playhouse Square and I wanted to take some pictures, but I also did not want to get drowned like a sewer rat, so we went back to the car. That night we just hung out and I got some sleep and ended up sleeping in longer than I expected, which should have been an indicator that something would go awry, body-wise.

I woke up Friday feeling slightly nauseous, but the feeling dissipated as the morning went on and I was able to drink my coffee eventually. Sahar is a real estate agent, and she was in process of trying to get two houses under contract while I was in town, so she had some business to attend to on Friday. I decided I would entertain myself, and looked up anything interesting that would be in the area. I discovered that about 10 minutes away there was an open-air mall, Legacy Village, where there was a current art exhibition called Candytopia. The tickets were not too expensive, so I bought myself one and drove over to check it out. First, I got a coffee at Starbucks, which bothers me, of course, as I am not a Starbucks drinker. I’m a Buffalonian, and therefore my coffee comes from Tim Horton’s. But you won’t catch me in a Dunkin to save my life, so Starbucks it was.

When it was time for me to be at the exhibit, I walked in to find myself alone. After a few minutes two other women came in, but they did not attend the showing I did- it was just me and nobody else.

First, i went into a big room and a woman gave a performance, acting almost as a Willy Wonka character. This girl did all the actions and theatrics that were required of her position without really needing to, as it was only for my benefit. It was just the two of us standing in a room, and her acting out what was coming over the loudspeaker. She may have felt silly, but as a performer myself I was very proud of her actions and I applauded her heartily when she finished. Then another woman led me through a big gold door to the first exhibit room, which was dragon themed and had a giant dragon made of candy. In each room you got to take some candy with you out of a treasure chest, which was neat. By the end my pockets were filled with treats for the girls. In the next room, there were many portraits of folks made out of candy…jelly beans and M&Ms and such, and in the room after that there was an aquatic theme. It was around this time that I realized I had lost my guide, and it was just me standing alone in every room, taking pictures of the walls. Eventually I came to a room with swings in it so I got on one and started spinning around. I heard one of the girls say “Hey, where did that woman that was by herself go?” The other girl replied “Oh look, she’s spinning! Oh good, I’m glad she’s spinning!”

I went into the next room, and a couple of kids were still hanging out from the tour that went in front of me. I watched them play as one of the workers shot a confetti cannon at them and their dad took pictures. Then I went into the final room, which had a marshmallow pit that you could take your shoes off and jump into, but as a grown adult with no children there I felt that would be inappropriate on some sort of level, so I kept my shoes on and left.

Sahar told me that she was still working, so I had to find something to do to kill another hour. I decided to schlep across Cleveland to the Christmas Story house. A Christmas Story is a movie that many people adore during the holidays, and much of it was filmed on a corner in Cleveland, Ohio. I went to go see the houses in the movie, and went to the gift shop, and of course, I saw the infamous leg lamp. Then I drove back to Sahar’s, and her mother made dinner, which was absolutely delicious. It was some sort of shrimp and rice situation with lemon and garlic and oh-my-gosh it was mouth watering. After that, we went out to do karaoke.

No, I did not sing anything, but Sahar sang some Justin Bieber and her friend Susan sang a couple of songs as well. We also got tarot card readings from a guy in the back booth who told me that victory was coming. Then I drank a bunch of tequila, and we decided it would be better to get an Uber home. So, for the first time in my life I rode in an Uber! And then, I almost puked in it, too! But, miracle of miracles, the driver was able to pull over and I was able to get my head out of the door just in time. The next thing I knew we were back at Sahar’s and I was lying on the couch in the basement and falling asleep, and then when I woke up in the morning I was sick.

I thought it was maybe just a hangover, but when symptoms appeared that do not arrive with such maladies, I became concerned and Sahar took me to the emergency room. There we sat for several hours, because this is of course not my homebase hospital, and they do not know that they could have given me a shot of reglan and sent me out the door. However, in their tests, they discovered that I actually had inflammation that did not have anything to do with gastroparesis, and I was in fact just.. sick. So, Saturday was a wash.

Sunday, I feel better, and at some point during karaoke my vape had broken so I went out and bought a new one. After that Sahar and I went to Panera for lunch, and I was able to eat some soup and half a sandwich. Then we went to the Buckland Museum of Witchcraft. This was a cool little place, but I would be lying if I told you I was comfortable there. It was very loud, psychically, and while a few items did speak to me, such as the ouiji boards and the scrying mirror in particular, I was very overwhelmed by the contents of the museum. I was also quite intrigued by a green notebook, in which Raymond Buckland wrote the Complete Guide to Witchcraft, a book used by wiccans all over the world today. Overall, it was an impressive collection and a cool little thing to do on a rainy October afternoon.

The night we ordered food in and hung out and relaxed, and I started watching Ted Lasso, which is an awesome show. And then Monday I woke up sick again.

This time I went directly to the emergency room, and they discharged me after only 2 hours or so, which was a vast improvement upon Saturday’s adventure. I discovered that Ohio health care is significantly faster than New York health care, as my doctor cannot get me in with an endocrinologist until February, and their doctors could get an appointment for me next week. This infuriates me on so many levels, but I digress…

I was supposed to drive home on Monday, but that was impossible. The doctors told me I could not drive for 24 hours because they had given me Haldol. So, Sahar set me back up on the couch and made me soup, and I slept.

The next day I felt great, and I packed up my things, said goodbye and was on my way home. The drive was very peaceful, and I got a wonderful idea for writing something special, which was extremely exciting given my recent writer’s block. Overall, it was a pretty good trip, although it did not go as planned. I would have liked to see more of downtown Cleveland, and I would have liked to go to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and I would like to figure out what Cleveland’s food is that they are known for as well, because as far as I could tell it must be Subway, as there is one on every corner. I guess I will just have to make a list of things that I want to do next time I go, because it was a lovely town that I had a really good time in. Even their hospitals do not disappoint.