Very Mysterious…

I was just nominated for something called the Mystery Blogger Award.  It should be noted that I have no idea what this is, and you, my reader, are finding out with me as I write this.,

The rules are stolen directly from the creator’s post, Okoto Enigma:

WHAT IS MYSTERY BLOGGER AWARD?
Mystery Blogger Award” is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging; and they do it with so much love and passion.
– Okoto Enigma

RULES

  1. Put the award logo/image on your blog
  2. List the rules.
  3. Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  4. Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well
  5. Tell your readers 3 things about yourself
  6. You have to nominate 10 – 20 people
  7. Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog
  8. Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question (specify)
  9. Share a link to your best post(s)

1 and 2 are done, so I must now thank the lovely Chapel Orahamm of the Kavordian Library.  She writes books about fantasy, sci-fi, romance, and the LGBTQ+ community.  Check her out on Twitter at @ThorntonGibsonK.

Now, I have mentioned the creator and provided a link above, so I must tell you three things about myself.  Interesting facts are not my forte, but I will try. 

For one, I have been writing for nearly as long as I can remember, and I write everything-I have no genre. I do have a soft spot for poetry, however, as that is likely my first love. 

Another thing about me is that I am very person-oriented.  I love my family, which exists of Hubs and my 4 step kids, as well as my mother and father and sister Bernadette.  I love my friends as though they are my family, fiercely and loyally.  I love strangers, even, until they give me a reason not to, that is.

Hmmm…a third thing.  I once convinced a cop I was a paranormal psychologist to get out of a trespassing ticket.  Good times.

Now lets see…nominate 10-20 people!  Well, I suppose I can try.  I’ll be honest, I don’t read blogs that don’t interest me, so there’s not a lot that I love, but those I do shall certainly receive the recognition.   Let’s go with those on my blogroll that haven’t been nominated yet, and a couple I like to keep up with:

Elad Haber- Music is Salve for the Soul

Kyrstle Nicole- Journey to Peace Within

Thinking Too Loud

Amy F- Raising Someone Else’s Children and other Animals

Adam Shoop- Personal Development, Teaching, and Inspiration

Sahar- Relentless Whimsy

DirtySciFiBuddah- Musings and Books from a Grunty Overthinker

Binging on a Budget

Lana- Bibliomedico

Hmm…that’s only 9.  Can I do 9?  I’m gonna do 9.

Ask your nominees any five questions, and answer the questions presented to you by the person who nominated you.  Well, first of all:

  1. When did you discover a love of writing?
  2. How long did it take you to find a niche in blogging?
  3. Where are you from and what is one interesting fact about that place?
  4. What is your definition of success?
  5. If you could cast anyone as the lead in the movie of your life, who would it be?

Now, the answers to my five questions:

What major event made you realize you wanted to share what you do on your blog? I’ve been blogging since 2001, and the event that made me start was beginning college. I wanted to keep a log of my time there, and I’m sure glad I did because I don’t remember a thing. Also, it started my love of blogging, which has been going strong now for over 15 years.

What is your top piece of advice for your 15-year-old self and for yourself 25 years from today? 15-year-old needs to go to therapy STAT. And put down that cigarette, damn. 61-year-old me better have copy of our published novel on her shelf.

What is your YouTube guilty pleasure to watch? Irish People Try on the try channel. And Zack Morris is Trash on funny or die.

What is the most pressing issue in our world today and what do you do daily to contribute to fixing it? Climate change is our biggest global issue and I do my part as much as I can, but what I really like to do is yell at others to get their heads out of the sand and realize what an issue this is.

Give me your favorite symbolism from a book or anime you’ve read/watched and why it has impacted you. Pennywise the clown. Terrified me as a child, not so much as an adult. Which perfectly blends into the symbolism of him being a terror to children. I love that he is less powerful to a rational adult than he is to a fear-stoked kid. Shows the difference between the innocent and the damaged.

Hmm…share links to your best posts.  Well I guess we’re gonna have to dive into WordPress analytics for that one.

Poetry Month! The Ghosts in the Machine and Personal Triumphs

That’s it! Thanks again to Chapel for the nomination, this was fun! Good luck to everyone!

But look how far we’ve come…

As previously mentioned, I have been tediously copying my old Livejournal over to a word document.  I have gotten about two years done in a week, so it will likely take longer than a month, as previously anticipated.  What is terrible about this experience is that I am getting exactly what I hoped for.

One of my projects is a potential novel dealing with depression.  I was hoping that in my waltz down memory lane I would come across some raw and powerful moments where my depression and/or anxiety was particularly overwhelming.  

Here’s what you don’t realize when you have been on medication and in therapy for long enough to operate at an appropriate level: once upon a time, you did not.  Once upon a time you were unmedicated, or mis-medicated, and not in therapy, and twirling wildly in a tornado of angst and mental illness. When you look back on it the way I am right now, you see the amazing difference a person with mental illness can attain if they put in the work.  This makes me proud, but not proud enough to cover the deep well of shame my cringeworthy hysterics of the early 2000s illicit. Bad writing aside (and it is,) I have found several entries that would be useful for my novel, provided I want to make my lead character have a massive meltdown and spew inarticulate paranoid rantings.

The other day I texted Jaime to apologize for my youth, to which she replied that we were all pretty useless as human beings at that age.  I assume this is correct, but I look at my little sister who is just stepping into her twenties and wonder. She seems to have her shit together, more or less.  I very clearly did not.

I’m three years deep in it now, and while I see a definite improvement between 19 year old Brigid and 22 year old Brigid, I am not impressed with my behavior.  I wonder how many people I alienated without realizing it, or that I hurt but forgot about. We are all garbage people at some time in our life, and I think it teaches us to be better, to grow as stronger beings.  Will I look back on this entry in 15 years and think “God that’s some terrible writing,” or “Ugh, what was I on about? My emotions were so overwhelming.” I certainly hope not.

I thought I would always keep my Livejournal, but now I’m in a race to finish copying it so I can just delete the damn thing already.  Every month that I read though brings another wince or regret. I have started to feel as though this is some sort of morbid torture I am bestowing upon myself.  I have considered just saying screw it and hitting the delete button, but it’s not all just surveys, quizzes, and songs. Some of it is a document of my 20s. Some of it is remembrances of people I have loved.  Some of it is a distinctive look at how far I’ve come emotionally. Some of it is reusable writing. So, I can’t just let it disappear one day the way my Blurty did. If I have to journey my way through my most difficult decade, I might as well get something out of it.

pexels-photo.jpg