Where do I even start? The move itself was hell on earth for me, but once I got settled down a little, things looked brighter. I’ve been decorating and organizing like crazy. I worked a lot these past coupe weeks at both jobs, so between that, my need to fully form my home, and some neuropathy/carpal tunnel/possible fractured pinky has hindered all my writing. I did pen a little poem for my cousin though, about some sandwiches waiting for a bus. And the Patreon stayed updated. But the blog, she was neglected.
In fact, I’m writing early Sunday morning for post on Monday because I don’t know if I will have time to sit down and write anything tomorrow. I am surprised I can right now, actually. My hands have been the worst, and yesterday…was just terrible.
I have been quite well for the past couple months, and this flare-up came with absolutely no warning. I woke yesterday and tried to fight it, but 10am found me at the ER, and I wasn’t home until 3ish. Then I passed out until five. This all would have been fine, had I not planned an epic 40th birthday for my husband last night.
Mark never had a real birthday party, so I wanted to give him one. It was something Mom and I had planned to do together, so that made it all the more important to me. Not having her there really made me sad when the time came. I went into full “Maureen-mode,” wanting everything to be perfect. In the end, it was not. The cake got burnt, most of the decorations were never hung, and I fell asleep in a chair about 30 minutes in. Mark tucked me into bed, and then I woke up and everyone was gone.
A nice surprise was that his sisters came to town to surprise him, which is a big deal to Mark. He misses his family a lot, but we hardly see them because we frankly don’t have the car to make the trip often. And they hardly come here, what with their gaggles of children and jobs and such. So, it was a lovely surprise that they came to visit, and I really wish I didn’t have to work in two hours and could spend some time with them.
Still, I am sad, and depressed, and angry. Sad because I missed the party I planned so hard for. Depressed because I feel like I let Mark and other folks down. And angry, because OF COURSE my stupid stomach had to act up. When I called Dad for a ride to the hospital, he said that it was because of the stress I put myself under for the party, and he’s right, but it’s not just the party. It’s that, plus work, plus a new apartment. It was just too much. I thought had it under control, but I need to remember that I just can’t take on the amount of things I used to, because the stress monster comes and makes me sick.
So I am very sad I have no recollection of my husband’s first birthday party. I am glad, however, that we have the kind of family and friends that swooped in to make things right for him when I could not. Just the other day, Mark had concerns: will anyone show up? Did I invite everyone I wanted to? What if there’s not enough food? Wait, people are bringing gifts?! Why are you making cake if I don’t like cake? I basically had to break down birthday parties for him, but when I woke last night at 1030, here is what I found: a tipsy (but not wasted) guy enjoying his friends and family that were still there. Smiley and content, he showed off his presents like a little kid would. Then, they decided to go to the casino, and I went back to bed. I made him promise to be home before morning, and found him today snoring on the sofa, I leaned in and whispered “did you have a good night?” He smiled, nodded, and rolled over. Good. That all I wanted, really.
Anyway, as you can see, I have my computer back together, and my hands are somewhat on the mend, so I intend to return to regular blogging on Mondays and Thursdays, Patreon updates are always Wednesday, but if I get five more subscriptions that will get bumped up a bit (and I can also offer merch!) And as for writing, the two things I will be working on are preparation for my reading on the 28th, and trying to decide if I’m going to do NaNo…I’d love to hit up my final draft with it. We shall see, since I can’t get in to my doctor until January and these hands just will not cooperate. (On that note…anybody have extra hand braces? Mine were lost in the move.)
Well, that’s all…Happy Sunday. No…Monday. You’re reading this on Monday.