A long time ago I wrote a little nonfiction piece called Monkey Alien Turnip Baby. I am considering editing and posting it on my Patreon in the future, but for now l’ll just tell you it is essentially the story of my sister being born.
For those unaware, I have a sister named Bernadette who is 13 years my junior. She was a HUGE surprise, mainly because after having me my mother had her tubes tied. Bernie’s little soul gave not a crap, however, and burst onto the scene on Halloween, 1996.
It is now 2021, which means that in a few short days, my little Monkey Alien Turnip Baby will be turning 25.
To say that I love my sister is an understatement of epic proportion. I will die for my sister. I will kill for my sister. I will serve the prison sentence awarded to me after killing for my sister, and I will do it with a smile on my face, that is how ferocious my love for her is. She is perfect. You can sit there and list her flaws all day and I will simply have to remind you that you are wrong and she is the best person in the world and we are lucky to exist in her light.
That’s not to say I haven’t wanted to kill her. There were many times in her youth where I could have throttled her, and it took a long time for us to move past the sibling rivalry stage. Some would think, given the age gap, that this could not be something we went through. They are wrong. She may have been 4 when I was 17, but that doesn’t mean I was any good at dealing with splitting my life with her, especially after being an only child for thirteen years. She had ways of getting under my skin, and adults were always yelling at me for arguing with her. Listen…I don’t care what you think. I don’t care if I was an adult too…that little girl could be obnoxious.
Alas, she hit about fifteen and was just right as rain. Things got easier as she got older, and then I moved out, and I missed her more than my mom and dad.
Now, she is out there in the world on her own. Tomorrow night we are having a party. My cousin Dom’s band is playing at a local pub, and we are all dressing up and going to his gig to celebrate. On her 21st birthday, I was in the hospital and missed the festivities. In fact, I didn’t get to buy her a birthday drink until her 22nd birthday party. I am EXTREMELY hopeful that I will not get sick and miss this year, and I really don’t think I will (knock on wood, anyway.) The only down side is that Mark has to work that night and can’t accompany me (we were going as a flapper and a mob boss…now I’m just a lonely jazz girl with no guy.) Next weekend, however, we are going to a party at Bern’s house, for her and her roommates. It also happens to fall around K’s birthday, so they will be putting her name on the cake as well, which I thought was sweet.
I used to hate sharing Bernie’s birthday with a holiday, but now I love it. There’s almost always a costume party to go to, first of all, and I love that she still dresses up every year. (Funny side story: When Bern was about 5, a girl, whose birthday was in May, invited her to her party. Bernie was conflicted on which costume to wear, and that was when I explained we only wore costumes on her birthday.)
Anyway, this is obviously just a little Halloween post to say how much I love and appreciate my sister being in my life, even though I spent many Halloweens (particularly the one in ’96,) despising her contributions to the day. I have grown and so has she, and the relationship we have now is one I wouldn’t trade for anything. She’s my favorite person in the whole wide world.
You can’t tell me any different.
Ham 'N Eggs 