I have written before about impostor syndrome. This is related to that.
I feel like an impostor when I read the works of greater minds than me, as I am sure all authors do at some point. But another thing that makes me feel like a fake is selling myself, and that’s what I’m thinking of today.
I started out about seven months ago by joining the writing community on Twitter. This seemed natural to me for several reasons. 1, I like Twitter, as a platform. 2. It has a very strong community of writers and 3. I had recently read that publishers are now looking at your social media development when deciding whether or not to publish you. The logic behind this is that they are looking for people who are able to market themselves. I don’t think this is fair at all, because I think an author should be judged by their work alone, but this is the way the game is played now, so I have to follow the rules.
I am very close to 5k followers, the mysterious number that publishers are supposedly looking for. I also made some cool connections. One, a stranger-turned-friend who lives in Algeria and is a fledgling poet. Another, the illustrator of my children’s book. And as for support, the Twitter WC is great because they are always there to give you a boost though writer’s block or celebrate your accomplishments with you.
It was then suggested to me that I start a Facebook author page. At first, I cringed. I always thought of author pages to be for those who were selling books, and I am not. It was then pointed out to me that 1. This will help in boosting my social media followings, 2. It will be ready to go when I am published, and 3. It is a great way to share my stuff on FB that I usually don’t, and people can choose to follow or not instead of me clogging up their feeds with something they’re not interested in.
Let’s discuss 3.
I don’t post my stuff to Facebook unless I particularly like it, because I feel like if my friends and family want to read my stuff, they know where to find it: my blog. But I almost never share my blogs on Facebook, so I’m not sure in the end how many people know about it.
Also, there’s the impostor syndrome, and the little voice in the back of my head that tells me those you know will judge you harsher than a stranger. So, I only share my stuff with those that seem truly interested. Now, what I have figured, is that if I made an author page, then my Facebook friends could like it if they choose to, and read my stuff on the regular, if they are so inclined. If not, they can choose not to follow me, and I will understand. My words aren’t for everyone.
Hell, most of the time they’re barely for me.
I hate selling myself, but I do love the reactions I get from people. Shares and comments on my blog posts make my whole day, and watching so many of my close friends follow me on Facebook gave me encouragement. Twitter, where I feel most comfortable selling myself (always easier when it’s a group of strangers, in my opinion,) is going strong…I get a few new followers each day, which means a few new potential readers.
But most of the time, I still feel like a fake. I wonder if I will lose that feeling on the day I hold a copy of a book in my hands, my name emblazoned across the front.